Spotlight - "The Antics of Pastoral Pete" A humorous peep behind the scenes at the events at St Andrew's church.
Photo - Me in front of Gigi's fridge one merry Boxing day.
The sun is shining on St Andrew’s church as I approach the entrance and open up for another day.
Monday morning means madness, mayhem and cappuccinos flowing like milk and honey, yes its Mums and Tots today! Michael and I are busy getting everything ready for the event. Tables are cleaned, the urn is filled, plenty of coffee beans in the machine and of course copious amounts of biscuits and orange segments are displayed like a fabulous cafe.
The little darlings start arriving at 9.45 for Mass at 10 ish. I say ish as we never start on time and at this point no one seems to mind as we are on ‘baby time’. I welcome all the mums, carers/nannies, dads, grandmothers, great grandmothers (etc) and little ones and on a good day I have been known to perform stroller valet parking. During the service the tots get to sing a few songs with the aid of musical instruments, either Lucy or Harriet lead this part extremely well. The noisiest song is probably ‘The Wise Man’. If you remember, the foolish man built his house on the sand which falls down, this is when the tots make a very loud noise with their drums and I need to go and lie down as it’s all too much! However no relaxing on me laurels yet because when the service is finished a storm of caffeine starved mums rush into the hall like a sale at M&S. I make as many cappuccinos and teas as I can to pamper and calm the mums, it’s only fair after what they go through. The tots get juice and water and of course biscuits. The tots then play together whilst the mums, dads and nannies can catch up on the previous week’s events, or as I call it, gossip.
Photo - Mums and Toddlers group - every Monday 10am till noon. Free entry, £1 for refreshments.
This event finishes around 12.30 which gives me a chance to clear the debris. After lunch at home I catch up on the web site, updating and editing and I check emails and hall hire arrangements. In the evening I wonder back to church via Field road where I often bump into parishioners and have a chat. I enjoy evening prayer at 5pm and then if there is nothing else on, I stroll home again chatting to folk on the way.
It’s Tuesday and Michael and myself get ready for coffee morning and the fruit and veg coop. Michael sets up all the tables in the church ready for the produce and I light candles, open up the church and put out the posters for the event. With plastic plants, sugar bowls and spoons laid out on each table and the aroma of fresh coffee wafting through the hall, we are set for the day.
The volunteers, Barbara, Gigi, Dorit and Arthur arrive and chat for a while until the produce arrives when all hands are on deck to arrange piles of fruit and veg ready for the punters to pick up. Fr Marcel is also in the thick of it lugging heavy bags of potatoes like they were grapes (well he does go to the gym). We are nearly finished and it’s been all too much, Arthur is gasping for a cuppa, Dorit is wearing the sprouts as earrings, Barbara is talking to the cabbages and Gigi has collapsed into a bed of onion skins. I try to pull them all together but I fear they may never be the same.
Photo - Fr Martin and Arthur laying out the fruit. Fruit and veg coop and coffee morning from 10am til noon every Tuesday.
Fr Marcel takes the first shift on the front desk and Fr Martin relieves him at 11am. I carry on making fine coffees and teas for all who pass through my cafe in the hall. We get all sorts on a Tuesday, from the elderly to the young mums and I get a chance to sit and chat with everybody. I run around the church sometimes for no apparent reason except to pick up the mugs and maybe a bit of biscuit that seems glued to the carpet. The event ends around noon and after a clear up I head off home for lunch. In the afternoon I like to visit a few folk and catch up with members that have not been able to come to church for a while, I then head off back to church to make the soup for the following days lunch club then it’s evening prayer and home to put me feet up.
It is now Wednesday and this is the big day of events. I start the day as always with Morning Prayer which is a great way to thank God for everything and pray for the day to come. Michael is already busy cleaning tables, topping up the sugar bowls and filling the urn etc. I get the church ready for ‘Songs and Stories’ which starts and 10am. After Morning Prayer it’s time for a quick cup of coffee with Fr Martin, Fr Marcel and Mary Marsh when we try to put the world to rights, then it’s on with the show. As the mums arrive they bring fruit for Michael or myself to cut up for the children to eat later. The songs and stories event is run by Kelly Henderson and Caroline Ffisk, the children sing nursery rhymes and dance around the church. At this point I am in relative peace in the kitchen making sandwiches and simmering soup. I often have Nehemiah for company who sits and reads his paper with a cheese sandwich and a cup of tea. As 11am approaches I brace myself for an onslaught of hungry tots. The double doors are open and the tots delve into the pieces of apple and banana with gay abandon (an old term used in lots of old Hollywood movies).
Photo - Audrey wearing her yogurt!
Michael has already laid the tables with side plates, spoons and napkins for the lunch club which seamlessly connects from the previous event. The soup kettle is steaming and the ham sandwiches are ready and by noon I am wearing both! It’s a lovely sight to see so many mums and tots and lunch club regulars having a great time over something so simple yet nourishing as soup and sarnies. It does become like a scene from ’Apocalypse Now’ with bits of ham stuck in places you can’t get to till bed time and more soup down a child’s front than in the bowl. The photo of Audrey wearing her yogurt tells the story. It is all great fun and if you are not doing anything on a Wednesday then please come along. The event ends about 1.30pm and as I scrape up the remains of the event from the lino, which thank goodness has seen better days, I go through my shopping list for the project on Saturday. I then write the list down as my memory as you all know is not great due to a somewhat fried brain from the 80’s (more in the prequel). I rush down North End Road with my extendable trolley trailing behind me like a worn out fur coat.
Iceland is my first stop and I fill the trolley with all the meat, ice cream and bits and bobs needed for the Homeless lunch. All the staff know me now and probably many of the customers too as I often hear, ‘What are you cooking for them this week love’ coming from behind a stack of baked beans or half priced kitchen roll. I go through the menu and I hear a reply, ‘you’re a saint darling’, I think to myself, if only they knew. With my extendable extended I drag the thing back to church and unload the contents into the freezer and fridge. I then start prepping so that come Saturday there is less to do. It is now 4pm and time to get ready for the next event.
Photo - Hayley's Street D4nce - 4 to 5pm every Wednesday.
Street dancing is very exciting to watch and is the most popular form of dance for kids today. Haley started the event a few months ago and has a class of about 20 pupils. The mums are able to stay and have refreshments in the church whilst their children are in the upper hall. I provide the teas and coffees and chat to the mums for an hour from 4 to 5pm. They also buy the fruit and veg and now attend other events at the church. We enjoy this time and it’s great for the mums and grand mums to have a break and catch up. Although we would all like to spin on our heads and make some shapes, I think we may need hip replacements or at least therapy at the end of it.
On Thursdays after Morning Prayer Fr Martin has meetings, Michael cleans the church and I finish off the shopping for the weekend. At 11am we have BCP Mass followed by coffee. It’s a great way to unwind a bit and I enjoy the peace of Thursdays Mass. After lunch I catch up on the web site, emails etc and may have a few visits in the afternoon. I am off every Friday.
7.30am Saturday morning I unlock the church kitchen door, soon after Michael, Mark and Richard arrive and they get to work on putting out the tables etc. The first thing I do is put the oven on for the baked potatoes and the hobs on to start the stew. The meat, veg and potatoes are simmering in three large pots with enough food to feed 120 people. The baked potatoes are for the volunteers and vegetarians. I grate cheese and prepare the soup for the starters. Luke arrives next and after a chat he sorts out the pudding, opening the tins of fruit into a large bowl and checking to see how much ice cream we have. Sue walks in next with lots of goodies for the homeless, toothpaste, brushes and other toiletries. She puts them by and then starts to butter bread as if on a hovis production line in the 60’s. Next to arrive is Elinor who after a coffee and chat sits with sue and prepares sandwiches for the homeless to take away after their meal. In comes Barbara, she whips of her coat like a burlesque stripper and proceeds to lay the tables as if her life depended on it. It’s all or nothing now as Karen arrives and after hugs all round she tastes the stew to make sure it’s up to her usual high standard and states ‘oooh I could eat the lot’. Gigi and Josie arrive together; they are in charge of handing out the hot drinks and soup so they busy themselves in preparation for said task. Tracy arrives and launches herself into opening sandwich bags for Elinor and then prepares herself for her role as waitress. Last but not least it’s Debbie our second waitress who arrives with her huge personality and matching smile.
By now the clock is ticking, the food is cooked, the buttered bread, soup, bowls, extra cutlery and plates are out and we are all in our places ready for the doors to be opened. At 10,45am I say, ‘are you ready ladies?’, ‘yes Peter’, ‘ok brace yourselves’!
Photo - A full house at the St Andrew's Project for the Homeless
I open the doors and welcome the homeless into the hall; usually about 20 are queuing outside. They have a look at the clothes then get a hot cuppa and soup and sit down at one of the superbly laid tables. Barbara and Elinor serve the stew from a trolley to Tracy and Debbie who serve it to the tables, restaurant style. I float around chatting to the clients and help to clear away dirties and re-lay for the next sitting. After a usually hectic lunch we clear up a bit then the volunteers have their lunch. Dorit and more recently Nina have become regular volunteers. As we get under way, Michael, Richard and Karen are busy washing up and getting plates and cutlery ready to use again. Luke is serving the fruit and ice cream. All the clients are grateful and go away with full stomachs, we say ‘goodbye’ and ‘see you next week’ to them and pray for their safe return.
It is 1pm, Gigi is wearing tea bags on her eyes, Josie has lost a baked potatoes somewhere, Barbara is lying on the trolley, Elinor is on the floor, Karen is muttering in the corner with a broom and I have fallen in the stew, it’s the end of the project lunch!
On Sunday Fr Martin opens up and with Mary, David and Fr Marcel we get the church ready for morning worship. It’s usually just Fr Martin and myself for Morning Prayer at 8am but I have to say it certainly sets me up for the day. I get the coffee peculating and prepare for the Breakfast team. After I get the hymn books, pew sheets and mass books together (a job which Janet Hodge used to do, I miss her), I welcome and hover at the back of the church in case I am required. After Breakfast I help clear up and then I’m off home to put me feet up. Most Sunday evenings we have Evensong in the choir stalls with about 15 people attending. On the first Sunday of the month we have Choral Evensong in the nave which is followed by wine and sausages. On these Sundays I will arrive a bit earlier to prepare the sausages which are covered in honey and whole grain mustard before being cooked. The wine glasses are arranged and the wine opened. Karen and Barry serve the sausages on trays with cocktail sticks and Anthony serves the wine. It is always a success and all seem to enjoy my sausage.
Well that is about it folks, this is me at St Andrew’s, but if you want to know about my earlier years you will have to wait for the prequel – ‘Fishnets in the Fast Lane’.
Peter