Spotlight - "Jamaica, Justice and Joy" - The Story of Verna Ridge
Verna was born in Jamaica in the Parish of St Catherine, Newlands. Her dad Euzel was a carpenter and her mum Joyce kept things running at home. The family attended the local Pentecostal church which had very strict values. Verna is the eldest of five children three of which were born in Jamaica and the other two in Britain.
Euzel left Jamaica for Britain when Verna was only 3yrs old. At that time people were encouraged to seek work in Britain when Jamaica was still part of the Empire, the wages were much better. Euzel worked as a carpenter in Birmingham and sent money home to keep the family well provided. After two years Joyce also left for Britain to work as a cleaner for the former GPO (now BT). Verna and her siblings were left with their godmother and godfather.
Joyce had two more children, a girl and a boy.
Verna's godmother punished the children as she believed the Bible literally, "bend the tree when it's young". Verna had many beatings by the strap, slipper, in fact anything that was to hand. Today this would be considered child abuse, but in those days it was, by some, an acceptable way to bring up children. Verna protected her siblings by taking beatings for them and it was this natural sense of mothering and protecting that would affect her future.
Verna's godfather was a well respected man in the community, she loved him very much. He was a successful butcher preparing cows and goats. It was believed some neighbours were jealous of his success and it has been suggested that black magic (obeah) may have been the cause of his death. Verna believed this as she was just 8yrs old when he died. She later discovered after some research that he in fact died of a brain tumour. Her godmother did not cope well with his illness, she was a tough women and did not know how to react to this situation. One morning at breakfast Verna's godfather sat at the table as usual but this time did not eat his food. Her godmother did not react. Verna fed her godfather his breakfast that day as it was clear that he was now so ill, he was unable to feed himself. It was Verna who looked after her godfather, feeding him, talking to him and watching him deteriorate. He refused an operation believing that "Gods will be done". This experience gave Verna the skills she would later rely on.
In 1970 Verna and her siblings left Jamaica and travelled the long plane journey to Britain. At Kingston airport the plane had a fault and everybody had to get off. Eventually they did arrive at Heathrow airport, in December with only cardigans, no coats!
Verna had dreams about meeting her mother, what she would be like, what they would say, the hugs etc. She remembered her mother’s final words when she left Jamaica, "we will send for you soon". But she did not come to the airport, it was her father that met them.
Verna recognised him straight away and after lots of hugs (to keep warm) they got in the car for the long drive to Birmingham (only the M1 in those days). The car had engine problems on the way home, as if anything else could go wrong! They eventually arrived to their new home in a blackout. Verna could only just make out the figure standing at the door way, it was her mother. She ran up to her, but there was no hug, no cuddle. She just said to her new brother and sister, "they are here". Her little brother Tony, who was now 5yrs old, clung to Verna and would not leave her side. There was a pink banner around the sitting room with 'Welcome Home'. The bedrooms were upstairs, Verna was quite dizzy climbing up the stairs as her home in Jamaica was on one level. She was also surprised to see a chimney on houses they only have them on factory roofs in Jamaica. Her new home had three bedrooms, so the sleeping arrangements were difficult. Her two brothers slept in the box room and the sisters in the double room. The first night however, Joyce allowed all the children to share the one room.
Next morning Verna and her siblings played in the garden, Tony stayed off school especially to be with his new brother and sisters. Verna remembers her mother opening the kitchen window and saying to her "you had better enjoy it because work starts tomorrow". Verna soon discovered what her mother meant.
Next morning Joyce acquainted Verna with the house work and other chores to be done plus take her siblings to school. Verna did eventually attend school herself and loved the lessons, in fact she preferred to be at school.
Her mother was not unlike her godmother in that she also beat the children. And again Verna took the beatings for her siblings. She experienced the same form of ‘discipline’ as in Jamaica and her mother surprisingly verbally abused her too. It is hard to imagine this life of torment which even though was extreme did play a major part in moulding Verna for her future vocation. Verna asked God "Why do I have to be abused?" She felt guilty as if it was her own fault.
Verna attended a very strict Pentecostal Church in Birmingham . She enjoyed English language, shorthand typing and accounts in secondary school and loved reading. She said that she would read the dictionary if she had time. In the school holidays she would be found with her head buried in a book, criminology, psychology or one of the other many ology's. One of her favourite books is "A Child Called It".
Joyce died when Verna was 16yrs old, she was in 6th form at school taking her GCE O-level. She recalls not feeling sorry when her mum died but was somewhat relieved instead. She felt like she had been let out of prison. She asked for forgiveness for the way she felt and asked God to help her forgive her mother. Verna feels it’s important to say that God has indeed helped her to forgive her mother and now is of the belief that her mother’s intentions were not to abuse but to discipline her and although wrong, this was the way she knew, probably handed down from generations. Verna is happy to say she has broken that cycle.
Verna was employed as a short hand typist at 17yrs old in Birmingham when she met her first boyfriend, the father of her first daughter, LaToya. She did not realise she was pregnant as there they did not have sex education at school, and sex was a ‘dirty’ word at home. When LaToya was 20, Verna explained her past life including how she felt about her mums death. LaToya said "God sees the bigger picture", and at that point, Verna finally forgave her mum. Verna broke up with LaToya's father but he did support his daughter. He even went to London to work sending money home and provided bags of baby clothes.
After LaToya was born, Verna worked for the agency, as a telephonist. Verna met Derek, a design engineer from London through his sister she had met in hospital in Birmingham. Soon after she moved to London to be with Derek and continued working for the same agency from the Hammersmith branch. Through the agency she worked at a book shop in the Strand then for Honeywell Hammersmith branch, where she was offered and accepted a permanent post as a telephonist. Derek created the electrical designs for the Flood Barrier and terminal3 Heathrow.
She fell pregnant with her second child, Leon. After giving birth to her third child, Lisa, Verna gave up work outside the home. At 26 Verna felt she was able to work from home whilst bringing up the children. Her sister suggested child minding. Verna ran her own child minding business for a while and after meeting two social workers from H&F Family Placement Unit considered fostering as a career. It took months of assessments until Verna received the call from social services requesting placement of her first child. He was 8yrs old and had been sleeping rough on the streets. The child is now 27, still contacts her and still calls her mum.
Verna was about 30yrs old when she sought professional help. Her therapist once asked her why she had not turned to drink or drugs, as in is experience the difficulties she had endured is usually the reasons addicts give for substance abuse. The sessions helped her and she said "people that affected me as a child will not ruin me as an adult".
Verna has fostered over 100 children, many of whom stay in touch. Her faith in God has never waned but has brought her through all the negative experiences of her childhood. There is no doubt that caring for children is her calling.
Verna moved to her present address in 1993 and soon after started attending St Andrews Church but not on a regular basis, mainly Christmas, Easter, and christenings.
She started attending on a regular basis when her first grandchild, Adonis was born in 2000, and is now a regular, dedicated member. Verna was confirmed at St Andrews in November 2006, is a children’s church leader and a server.
Verna believes God led her to St Andrews, where she’s able to dedicate and worship as it’s always been God’s and her will.
Verna enjoys the warm, welcoming, friendly, caring atmosphere at St Andrews, where all are welcome.
Finally, everyday Verna gives thanks to God for his many blessings, for His unchanging love for her, for always been by her side, even when she’s going through the wilderness and her faith is low and would like to end with a quote her favourite Psalm, Psalm 27, ‘The Lord is my light and salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
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